I'll Give You Everything That I Am
by youngheejin
Summary: Cristina and Burke's separate lives after they broke it off at the altar. What would happen if they meet again with their feelings and ugly past clinging unto them?
1. Chapter 1

I'll Give You Everything That I Am Chapter 1 

Cristina woke up realizing she fell asleep on her daughter's room. Her daughters, Denise and Czarina, are out on a camping trip. They always want to attend before classes starts. She decided to read Mer's letter alone cause Mer warned her it's about something her family didn't know.

As she read the letter, her hands started to trigger as well as her tears try to form in her eyes again. It says that Burke will be visiting Seattle Grace Hospital.

It's been 12 years since Burke left her at the altar. Her life became a mess for a moment, until she pulled herself up with the help and support of her friends. She lived her life to become the best surgeon.

Her life became even more meaningful when she found out that she's pregnant. At first, she didn't want them cause she doesn't have any idea how to raise them, she didn't want to raise them alone for she is afraid of turning out like her mother, and most importantly she never wanted her children to grow up like her without a father. She knows Burke would be jumping for you if he found out but thought she'll never give him a chance.

Giving life to her twins is one of the hardest things she have experience in her life and one of the most hurtful for Burke isn't there to hold her hand.

When her children are three, she transferred to Mercy West. Meredith disagreed with her leaving but she reason out that she wants to have a fresh start where everything could not trigger her to remember Burke.

Her anger never subsided, it became worst added with jealousy and hatred when she heard George telling Izzie that Burke got married to an Elizabeth Smith.

George just heard the Chief telling Shepherd about Burke. He planned to tell Mer, Alex, and Izzie, before telling Cristina, but she's so sneaky those days. Noticing how odd George was because he's so nice when she's being mean to him, and when throwing him insults.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Burke got home greeted by Elizabeth and her daughter Alyssa. Burke's life is complete if you look at it but to him he still thinks that something is missing. He thinks that his wife and his daughter is not filling the empty hole in his heart that only one person could do, Cristina.

As Burke left Cristina from on their wedding day, he immediately went to New York because he accepted the offer to become the Chief of Surgery in New York Presbyterian-Columbia. From then on, his life became empty, surgeries all day, then home with nobody. He killed all his chances in remembering Cristina by doing a lot of research, improving, and updating medical breakthroughs.

Some of his success even progress his status more such as discovering the real physiologic work to the heart of the Transmyocardial Revascularization instead just of tricking the heart to grow new vessels, extended the use of the TPA drug also known as the drug that save people who had suffered from stroke 3 hours after its onset, and the contributed a lot of studies regarding GMO being injected to the heart to grow new vessels as well.

Hospitals from around the world is been contacting him to do some operations, he was on the wanted list of people in every school to be speakers and seminars, lots of women wanted to meet him but he all refused them because of his unrequited love for Cristina since he left her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

After 2 years of hardworking and surrounding himself of walls, he didn't see it coming, he met Elizabeth Smith, an Oncologist from where he works. Elizabeth had an adopted daughter named Alyssa 4 years old, and his husband died from a plane crash 2 years ago.

He was on his way to the library when he heard someone crying aimlessly inside the small chapel of the hospital. That's how he met Elizabeth, she was crying for his father who died of heart attack.

At first they became friends, soon he met her daughter Alyssa, and fell for them both. Elizabeth is a successful oncologist who cares for her patient deeply. She is very intelligent, well-mannered, cooks perfectly, definitely a perfect wife to him, and devotes herself and her time to them. She's sensitive, friendly and gorgeous. She became the talk of the hospital when her husband died. Suitors had lined up outside the hospital sending her varieties but chose none of them. She only fell for one person and that is Burke.

As for Burke, he took care of her, but couldn't give his heart. They married because they love each other despite the fact that Burke's love of his life will only be Cristina. She knows to well that Burke will always be Cristina's and his heart will always lie on Cristina's hands as he promised. To any guy Elizabeth is such perfect; no one could ask for more, but to Burke, she will never be his Cristina.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

As Cristina's children came to their senses, they started asking about their father. Cristina told never told them who he is as long as they promise not to find him or try to contact him. She didn't told them that his married because he doesn't want to break her children's heart just like he did to her.

Now Burke is coming back. She needs to tell her children about him. They don't have any idea what went wrong with Cristina and Burke. Their mother just answers them that they are too young to understand and that it's only between him and her so they don't have to hate him whatever the reason is. 

**SGH Lobby**

Cristina brought her children with her to meet Meredith. Cristina and Meredith never met since they transferred, Mer just talk to her and her children on the phone and emails. When Meredith saw them, she had it all coming that she going to enjoy all her time with them because that she'll be facing 3 Cristina.

Meredith ran to them "Cristina, are this Denise and Czarina? They look like you so much. They're so gorgeous."

Cristina felt pride as she show Meredith how she got through taking care of them alone.

"Hi Aunt Mer" the twins hugged her. Mer kneeled and held them both in her arms and notice that they had a dimple on their chin just like Burke.

"Do they know about their?" She stood up and whispered to her.

"Yeah! Some things. Let's eat." Cristina hugged her. She isn't this touchy and showy, she's just really happy to see her bestfriend. Meredith found it surprising that Cristina initiated it, "Are you mentally ill? Or your daughters made you soft?"

"Shut up! Let's go." Cristina brushed her off. Mer and the twins just laughed at her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

The travel from New York is exhausting. Burke even had a fight with Elizabeth because she wants to come with him. But Burke rationalize that there is something he needs to fix first. He told her that he has to see Cristina first just for the sake of getting along. Elizabeth thinks it is a bad idea considering how he cares for her so much and the way Cristina feels for him. Of course Burke loves her and he married her but she can never change the fact that Burke will always love her the most. She can never compete with that.

After they got married, the thought of Cristina never left her. So secretly, she had a research of her own about what happen to Cristina since he left her. She found out that Cristina has twins all girls but doesn't know whose the father and if she's married. Her jealousy continued for awhile but after a fight with Burke when he found out she stopped. But she always prays that for Cristina's daughters not to be Burke and Cristina to be happily married.

There love for each other is not something you can just throw in the garbage when you feel don't like it anymore. Alyssa didn't know anything about Cristina but Elizabeth is willing to tell her daughter everything but Burke at first contradicts that she's too young to understand it but because Alyssa has every right to know the truth.

Burke decided to drop by to Joe first to cope up with the things his missing. When Joe saw him, Joe is so excited and blurted out, "Dr. Burke! Are you here to pick up Cristina and your daughters? You're late. Izzie said they met Meredith inside the hospital awhile ago."

Burke froze from where he is standing he doesn't know what to say, what he's going to feel, and what he is going to do. The first word that came up to his senses is to know where they are staying.

"Thanks Joe. Do you where they are going?"

"I heard Meredith is going to treat them."

"Thanks." Burke walked fast to his car.

_I have daughters with Cristina! How could she keep this from me? I know leaving is the biggest mistake of my life, but I'm paying hell with my life in it already. What should I do? Where should I go? I need to talk to her. I need to see her, to see them. _

Burke's mind is flooded with so many possibilities but stopped thinking after remembering that his married, have a child he loves as his own and that him and Cristina went there separate lives after leaving her in the altar.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Way back to their hotel

The dinner with Meredith is too wearing. As she watch her daughters sleep at the back of her car, it is really obvious that they have fun being with Meredith. The tiredness is all over there face and now they're drifted to a far away place.

It's been so long since Cristina chat and ate with Meredith. She can't even remember the last time she did it with Mer, Alex, Iz, and George. She can't believe that George slept with Izzie but chose Callie instead. Izzie was more of on her own. Well Meredith is Meredith. Of course! What do you expect? She is married to Derek with one daughter. Alex is… the thing she didn't expect the most. Alex followed Addison. Meredith told her that Alex is so troubled when Addison left and just realize that he wants her. Alex was back he mentioned he saw Addison but they don't know if she agreed to have a relationship with him. Oh, she can't wait to torture him. Cristina laughed at herself at the thought of it.

Suddenly Burke flashed into her mind. Distraught she thought of how she is going to hide the children from him. She's sure Burke would want to have a right to be with his children in case he founds out about them.

Burke's Apartment

Burke was sitting on the table trying to understand things. The conversation with Joe is quite surprising. He doesn't know where to start and how he love to see Cristina and be okay with her at least and with their daughters thrown to the mix. "Daughters, I have daughters? Why did Cristina keep this secret from me? What will my daughters think of me? How will I explain myself to them, to me because of my hideous stupidity? I know she hates me and more over would even want me to die for living her at the altar but why did she have to raise them only as her own. I shouldn't have left her… I shouldn't have left her!" Burke throws hard his left hand on the table. He tried to control his anger and while looking at his hand, he remembered his tremors. How Cristina took care of him? How she did her best to stick with him, to not whine because of his conditions, to change all of her to make him happy so that he wouldn't leave her but in the end, despite all what she did he left her.

"I know what to do." Burke ran off his apartment as if an avalanche was about to hit him.

Meredith decided to shower to lessen her stress. As she came out, a candle lit dinner appeared at her sight which weren't there when she got there. She played a smile on her face thinking it must be Derek and Samantha their daughter who is the 3 years younger with Denise and Czarina.

"Welcome back mom!" Samantha hurried to hug her. "Why do you look so tired?"

"Oh, it's because I met my bestfriend her daughters which you will too. I want you to be there friends. Okay?" Meredith excitedly told her without noticing Derek watching them from her back.

Derek surprised her when he hugged her. "So, how is Cristina and her little Cristina's? What is there name?"

"It's Denise and Czarina."

"Well, does she have plans on telling Burke? You know they'll meet again." Derek wanted to tell Burke but Meredith made him promised.

"I don't know just don't tell him anything. If he needs to know, Cristina is should be the one to tell him." Meredith held Derek's shoulders very concerned. She knows that Burke and Derek are just like Meredith and Cristina. They are like each other's person.

"Who's Burke mom?" Samantha butted in.

"Honey, Burke use to be a doctor in Seattle Grace. He is a close friend." Derek persuaded her daughter to her room.

"Just like your father he is a great doctor but with hearts. Goodnight sweetie." Meredith kissed Samantha on her forehead then settled on the chair waiting for Derek to accompany her.


End file.
